


Heartbreak and all its Difficulties

by snowspriestess



Series: One Shots [13]
Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: F/M, basically my take on an early relationship of zelda and faustus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-20 21:01:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16563068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowspriestess/pseuds/snowspriestess
Summary: When Sabrina asks her Aunt for advice on how to cope with her own heartbreak, she reminds Zelda of times she would rather not remember, or one person in particular.





	Heartbreak and all its Difficulties

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time writing for this fandom but it was so much fun yaay ♥

It had taken Zelda rather long to console Sabrina after the recent events with Harvey and his brother, almost an hour of sitting beside her bed and whispering comforting words into her niece’s hair. It had felt as if she was a little girl again, weeping and sobbing in her aunt’s arms.

At some point, Sabrina’s teary eyes had looked up at Zelda, almost entirely hopeless. “How do I ever get over it?” 

Zelda had smiled, cupped her niece’s cheek and promised her that eventually, it would all fall into place again. That it would all be alright, in the end. She always had an answer for everything, or at least Sabrina was supposed to keep thinking that. 

“Have you ever had your heart broken?” her niece sniffed, attempting to wipe the tears from her cheeks. But with all the new ones spilling from her eyes, it was a useless try.

Zelda frowned, considering the words. “I haven’t, actually. I don’t know what makes it better.” She smiled weakly. “Perhaps it just takes time.”

Heartbreak was for mortals, for those who were weak and fragile. _Or so she had always thought_ , with utter conviction, just up until her fourth year at the Academy of Unseen Arts.

Just until her own heart broke into a thousand pieces, and nothing was ever really the same again.

 

She remembered it well, still. Too well perhaps.

The stolen glances, hiding from the other students, lips locked together, clothes splattered on the floor. It had been a wild ride, her fourth year, and that all thanks to one specific person.

Faustus Blackwood and her had always had that special something, a connection which seemed to be there from the beginning. They had met in conjuring class, sat next to each other and felt little sparks fly like electricity between them. She had felt butterflies in her stomach whenever his arm had accidently touched hers, whenever she had caught his eyes resting just a second too long on herself.

One night they had met in the entrance hall, and she could still remember the moment she stood backwards against the statue of their Dark Lord, with his lips on hers and hands all over her. The secret had only made it more exciting, and soon she slipped away from her bedroom almost every night.

It was purely physical, or so she told herself, and they never spoke too much during the nights. In class they had all sorts of topics to discuss, using that as an excuse to spend more time together. It was a dance they had been dancing, and they both enjoyed their part to its fullest.

 

But as with every dance, at some point the music stopped. For Zelda, that happened the moment Edward caught her leaving her room at night, wearing nothing but her lace underwear hidden under a satin nightgown.

“Where are you heading?” her brother had asked, eyes as dark with suspicion as they could be. She was a great liar, always had been, but to Edward she could never lie. Not without him noticing, in any case. And of course, that sealed her fate.

“You’re meeting him, aren’t you? That boy from conjuring.” It was only many years later that Faustus would become Edward’s mentor, at this point the two were no more than boys at the same academy, all trying to be the best of their class. Edward in particular had always been ambitious and wanted to excel at everything, and since Faustus was the only one being able to compete with him, a rivalry was not to be avoided.

This had been the reason she had kept it a secret, but also because her brother had always been overly protective, especially with her. In this night, Edward had been furious. Thinking back, Zelda was not certain if she had ever seen him like this.

“I will not allow you to sleep around with whoever you fancy”, he had almost yelled at her. “You are a Spellman, it is time you begin to act like one!” His voice had grown so loud she feared the other students might wake up at the sound.

She had stood and listened, never daring to speak up. Her brother had always been more like a father to her, being the same authoritative but loving figure she had tried to be for Sabrina. But back then, she had hated him a little. It was only years later she understood, even thanked him perhaps. He had saved her from falling in love, sinking too deep into an actual meaningless relationship.

 

Two days later Edward had come to her and handed her a piece of paper, a flyer which had on its front page a lovely little farmhouse. The writing was all French, she recognized instantly. She was fluent, after all. “What is this?” she wanted to know, studying the letters. It was a school, another academy.

Her brother had put a hand on her shoulder, almost comforting. “I believe it best for everyone if you spend the rest of this year abroad. This academy or some other, whatever you like best. Just not here.” It had hurt like knifes in her heart, every word seeming to tear at her very soul.

In the end she had gone to France, fast and silently and without ever saying a word to anyone else but Hilda. She believed her sister had been the one to inform Faustus, since Zelda had not had the heart to tell him herself.

She had cried in the train to Paris, the first and last time she could ever remember to have cried real tears. They had run down her cheeks like small rivers, and she had despised herself for being so weak. An old lady in the seat across her had offered her a tissue, and another one, and another one until there were really no tears left at all.

One year abroad turned into two and then three, and she did not return to the Academy of Unseen Arts until after Edward had already been appointed High Priest. He had welcomed her into his office with a smile, showing her around, and talking about all the new things he had planned for his Church of Night. It was not until they stood in the entrance hall when Zelda’s heart began to ache, and all the memories she had so eagerly tried to oppress began to surface.

She never dared to ask Edward about Faustus, and they did not bring up the topic until the morning Edward found a wedding invitation in his mail box. _Faustus and Constance,_ it said on the front of the invite, and Zelda felt as if she needed to throw up. She would never forget the look her brother had given her, half sorrow, half apologetic. “I meant to tell you-”, he began, but Zelda had fled the room before he could even finish his sentence.

At this point, France did not even seem far away enough from him, so Zelda decided against Europe and went to Asia, instead.

 

She saw Faustus for the first time at Edward’s and Diana’s funeral, holding baby Sabrina in her arms and starring with dead eyes at her brother’s grave. She did not dare to look at him, fearing what he might read in them. He had been appointed High Priest, since Sabrina was a girl and therefore not fit to be Edward’s heir. The girl was lucky, most probably. The position never brought anyone much luck. She had heard that Constance had miscarried, twice.

“Zelda”, a voice behind her said, and he sounded as foreign and familiar as he had ever had.

She turned around to face him, pressing Sabrina to her chest as if the baby might protect her. The little girl’s chest rose in slow motions, her eyes were closed. While sleeping, she was even more of a delight than awake.

“Should I call you Father Blackwood now?” Zelda asked, half teasing, half serious.

He looked at her in silence for a few passing seconds, and she could never be certain if it was sadness or amusement that sparked his eyes. “I believe that would be appropriate, _Sister Zelda._ ”

It hurt so much less acting like they had never known each other, and since he seemed to agree that their former relation should be kept a secret, he went along. No one but Hilda knew of it, anyway, and she knew better than to remind her sister of it.

The years passed and Zelda somehow just went more and more numb, to the point where she did not even care when he asked her to be Constance’s midwife. Or perhaps she did care, but not enough to ever let it show. She played the part of obedient follower good enough, never leaving a doubt that she could not mean it.

And maybe, when she read the urin sample result from his wife and learned that she was expecting twins, she was even happy for a moment. Happy that after all, he would get the heirs he had wished for.

This made what happened after even more horrible, and she hated herself for even letting it come that far. When he had kissed her, that night in her house in front of the fireplace, it had all felt so familiar. She never knew if it was pure melancholy or if she was still, after all those years, in love with him.

But whenever he visited her or called her to his office, she swore herself that it would not happen this time. And whenever she left, she felt as if the walls she had build around herself were crumbling. Like she was doing the same mistakes all over again, just this time without Edward to interfere.

 

But when Sabrina asked her about heartbreak, this was what came to her mind. And the familiar ache in her chest reminded her all to well of what happened if Faustus Blackwood came too close to her heart.

This night, she did not answer his call. Instead she sat in the dark kitchen, starring out the window, and felt the tears running down her cheeks.

 


End file.
